Untitled Document


Nick Kushner 12/11/82 - 6/15/16

"And everyone turned their backs because they knew when we held on tight to each other, that we were something fatal that fell into the wrong hands"Read more

The Diet According To Manzin, 4:1

My diet has been going so well for the past week. I put aside soda and iced tea, instead forcing down bottle after bottle of tap water (my mortal enemy) with a few drips of lime. The cookies and Halloween candy I'd gathered before I began this nonsense sat in the cupboard, ignored and confused as I made do with fresh fruits and vegetables (and more water).Read more

How Sex Pissed Me Off

I spent about four hours tonight watching a program on H2 called "How Sex Changed the World". It's a documentary series that pulls the juicy bits of history you might not know about and puts them in an interesting and watchable format intercut with plenty of vintage photos and videos. At first it was fascinating in a good way but after around the second hour I started to overnotice a few trends throughout the history touched upon by the episodes that really started to eat at me. Read more

What I'm Thankful For: A Virtual Buffet Of Holiday Gratitude And Random Capitalization By Manzin

1: Friends. You motherfuckers in your varying circles ranging from "can you grab me some lube if you're going to Rite Aid?" close to "thanks for the add!" distant. East coast, west coast, the big D, the twin cities, sin cities, wherever you are. Without your texting at all hours, your mysterious packages, long Facebook messages, cat pics on my Wall, beautiful works of art, RT-ing my most impassioned Twitter rants, driving my drunk ass home after four martinis too many, listening (or reading) to me ranting about how much I hate someone or nodding understandingly when I insist that I absolutely can't make it to your party because it's on the same day as a Manson show, I don't know where I'd be. Or who. Read more

Manzin's Marilyn Manson Tour FAQ

Starting from the day new tour dates are announced I find myself on the receiving end of a lot of questions. In the hope of educating people (and saving us both a lot of time), I've compiled a FAQ of tour-based Manson questions here. Don't be mad if I reply to your (usually) polite pleas for help with a link to this page as sometimes answers lead to more questions and, again, the timesaving thing. Read more

Can You Recommend Some Bands/Albums?

  • This is in no particular order.
  • Many of these bands I have multiple albums for but only listed my favorites.
  • Others I have only one complete album but I love the one I posted.
  • A couple bands have all of their albums listed, because I love them all nearly equally.
  • I did not list Manson or nine inch nails because I assume everyone is already well versed in these two.
  • I did not list bands for which I own only Best Ofs (Frank Sinatra, The Doors, Journey) but that is definitely not to say that I don't love these bands.
  • This also doesn't include bands where I don't have a complete album, even if I have two or three dozen songs from multiple EP/LPs.

  • And here we go. Read more

    My favorite MM lyrics

    From a "what are your favorite lyrics?" thread on Babalon, I present mine here. Neatly divided by album. Not including demos or singles. Read more

    The One With The Flexeril(18+)

    There was a pill in my palm. It was the size of a pencil eraser, almost so small I wouldn't need water, round and smooth and the color of orange sherbet. Baby aspirin. The pill's name was Flexeril and flexibility was primarily what I wanted. A little something to make my spine arch, to bend my lips up at the corners. For once it wasn't an escape I was after, more like an enhancement. Since the move and the separation from my ex and with the increased volume of facetime with my boy, things were looking pretty rosy for me. But a little vacation couldn't hurt.Read more


    [The following is a story I was asked to contribute to SLag Magazine Issue #2. My guidelines were "around 1000 words of gay smut. Whatever you like, just try not to make people write angry letters". I've never tried to write to a size limit before and it was a lot more difficult than I thought it'd be. I spent the entire thing worried about it being not enough or too much. Would I get the whole story in? Would my voice be crippled with editing to fit size restrictions? In the end I hemmed and hawed and put it off for days before sitting down and knocking this out in about an hour on Easter night. I guess there's a note of hope in there, as Christ was dead and he came back to life against all kinds of odds, and the object of my lusts in this story is also dead for me right now. But stranger things have happened, and I'll roll that stone away. Short and sweet, kids. And if you're literally a kid, you shouldn't be reading this.] Read more

    This Never Happened

    [This is entirely a work of fiction, the product of my fevered brain, and has no basis in reality.]Read more

    Bloodstained Sheets In The Shape Of Your Heart (18+)

    Come over, I said, and he came willingly, sweetly, with a squeeze for my hand and a kiss for my cheek. She looked up as he walked in and her eyes darted to mine for a moment, picking up on the heightening of my mood. Not an elevation, a sharpening. The thoughts had drifted in from the corners days ago, filling up my head and choking off any chance the light had to save me from what had started so innocently. If I weren't me I'd say that I tried to hold it off, but I can't claim that. If anything I opened the door and invited it in, made it tea, asked about the kids. It'd been awhile since this part of me had stepped forward, the crueler, cooler side. But it was different this time. Read more

    The One With The Contractor (18+)

    Sprawling mess of expensive house way back in the woods. He leads me downstairs, making small talk. I'm following him, eyeing the lack of bars on my phone and wondering if this is how I'm going to die, drowned in his 10-person hot tub surrounded by cacti and his massive but friendly husky. He has a mattress laid out with towels, candles and incense, some inoffensive classic rock CD playing. On the towels are a dozen dildos of sufficient size to serve as doorstops. Read more

    Fucking Is Like Fast Food

    [Another from the Manson LiveJournal. This is what happens when I decide to write an anti-monogamy rant before eating a proper meal.]Read more

    Click. Click. Click. (18+)

    [I wrote this as an attention-getting way to introduce the (s)AINT video rather than simply posting "here's our new video, enjoy". So I came up with a snippet of the sexy timeline, a long distance boy/boy/girl threesome where one of the boys was thousands of miles away. Yet more smut from the MM LJ, with yet another "work of fiction" disclaimer.]Read more

    Thanks For Coming (18+)

    [Writing smut about girls is a sort of novelty for me but it has its rewards. One of Manson's trysts from my stint in the MM role on LiveJournal. And again, this never happened.]Read more

    A Great Fall

    [Originally posted by me writing as Manson for a celebrity roleplay group on LiveJournal, an account that's since been closed. Long live the King.]Read more

    Hamburg (18+)

    [Actually yes I did have a lot of time on my hands in the early 00s, thanks for asking. More fictionalized hotel room shenanigans.]Read more

    Untitled (18+)

    [I wrote this in 2000, evidently. All I remember is thinking "I need to write something", sitting down to do so, and then coming to some hours later and this was on the screen in front of me. I had absolutely no memory of writing it then and still don't remember anything as far as how this story came to be, but here it is.]Read more