THING of the WEEK

When I was a kid growing up, red licorice was the only way to go. Now that my tongue and I have grown up, we can appreciate the delicious subtleties of black licorice. I think this was purchased at CVS for a modest price for what fantasticness is locked in this bag. The candy is beautifully soft and tastes great even if it does look like dogshit. According to RJ's website (www.rjslicorice.co.nz) they also make allsorts, which I'm going to have to track down at some point because allsorts are what happens when black licorice has sex with a coconut.

So I found this stuff at Sheetz during my move from NYC to Detroit. I'd heard about it before but finally decided to buy a bottle of it. I mean, it's BLACK WATER, how could I not? It's black due to fulvic acids (not vulvic. Vulva water isn't really potable) and is high in antioxidants, plus it has a high pH to regulate your body to neutralice acids. So there are some supposed health benefits beyond the sheer enjoyment of having black water. I have a couple things to point out. Firstly it was around $3 a bottle. Secondly it's naturally a dark, dark brown. A bit darker than Coke. The light barely penetrates it as you can see in the pic and yes, the bottle itself is clear. I poured some into the palm of my hand and it sat there looking like Rozz Williams' tears. Thirdly, it has a fairly strong mineral flavor. Not quite like water. Not quite delicious either. I'd drink it again but probably won't seek it out unless I need it for a shoot. Cute gimmick, though. You can find a retailer and learn more at www.getblk.com

Oh, coffee. Coaxer of alertness. Giver of warms. Delicious food substitute when I can't be bothered to go downstairs and get something proper to eat but still want my stomach to stop growling for a few more minutes more because I'm embroiled in a petty internet argument that I'm convinced I can win. You are pretty much the best ever. Except when I add a packet of hot cocoa powder to you. The kind with the little tiny marshmallows. And then top you with whipped cream. THEN you are the best ever. Maybe.

Unless it's Dec 24 or 25, there's never a good reason to have snow around. It's messy. It requires shoveling (which requires my getting dressed and going outside, two things I rather enjoy avoiding when possible). It makes travel hazardous and can easily double the time it takes to get anywhere (when you're white-knuckling the steering wheel, on alert for black ice and fishtailing motorists and squinting against a blinding starfield of snow coming at you at 65 MPH, a 20 minute drive can feel more like 60). And it greatly limits what I can wear when I go out as it's next to impossible to make furry mittens and an ear flap hat look good.

I do try, though.